If I Appear Superhuman…

Posted April 28th, 2010 (3:32 am) || Comments Off

I have discovered I have a superpower. While it’s nothing as dramatic as the ability to fly or move objects with my mind, my ability is just as astounding. I did not come to this realization suddenly, for I had my suspicions for some time there was something… unusual about myself. My suspicions lead me to test myself. My lab was anyplace where there were lots of people, specifically moving people. Shopping malls, department stores… even a busy street. In each of these places I tested my ability and found that I am capable of generating a field of slowness around myself.

Wherever I went, people who crossed my path would invariably slow down, perhaps even stop right in front of me. At first I thought they were just being dicks, but how could so may people have a universal disregard for those around them? Especially in America! So I am certain this must be a superpower of my own that is influencing these people, causing them to linger in my path for far longer than is reasonable. I only wish I could control this ability…

I’d really like to turn it the fuck off.

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A New Kind of Matress

Posted January 19th, 2010 (7:38 am) || Comments Off

Matress

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Meetup.com… Something’s Not Right

Posted January 7th, 2010 (7:43 am) || Comments Off

A while back I wanted to know how much it would cost to put together a group on Meetup.com, but I could not find pricing information. So what I did was start creating a new group so I could get to the point where they’d charge me so I’d know. First off… wow, that’s damn expensive! Second, I just received this email message from Meetup.com:

“So far, 15 people near Phoenix have said they are waiting for a Meetup Group like The Phoenix Fake Group!”

You know something… I believe them.

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Nerd Rap…

Posted January 2nd, 2010 (7:39 pm) || Comments Off

Now all things are truly possible!

Large Hadron Rap

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Excessive Quotation

Posted December 27th, 2009 (6:40 pm) || Comments Off

I came across this on xkcd.com… I kinda reminds me of how many of my closest friends talk (myself included).

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